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What are You Saying About Your Kids?

What are you saying about your children?TIMELESS TEACHINGS OF KENNETH E. HAGIN

At a Full Gospel Business Men's Fellowship convention, a woman came up to me and said, "Brother Hagin, I want you to promise me something."

"I want to find out what it is first," I replied

She said, "I want you to promise me that you'll pray for my son every day. He's 15 years old. I'm a widow and I can't get him to go to church. He's in a gang, and I'm afraid they're on drugs. He's out until 3 and 4 o'clock in the morning. I lie awake at night waiting for the phone to ring telling me they've got him down at the jail."

I interrupted her before she could say anything more about how bad her son was. I shocked her by saying, "I'm not going to do it."

"You're not?"

"No, I'm not. I won't promise you I'll pray for him at all."

"Well!" she said.

"In the first place," I continued, "it wouldn't do any good because you'd nullify the effects of my prayers by your wrong believing and talking. As long as you keep telling your son that he'll never amount to anything and he'll wind up in the penitentiary—he'll never make it."

Her eyes got big. "How did you know I was talking that way to him?"

I said, "To be in the mess he's in, you had to talk him into it. Children are products of words. Words will make a boy want to go to church, or they'll keep him out of church."

"What should I do?" the woman asked.

"Since you've done this for so long and because he's as old as he is, just leave him alone. He resents your trying to tell him anything. Don't preach at him. Don't nag him.

"Then," I went on, "change your thinking and talking. Begin saying, 'I surround my son with faith and love.' You've been surrounding him with doubt. Now surround him with faith. Even if your heart doesn't believe it to begin with—say it out of your mouth. Once it registers on your heart, you'll start believing it. Say, 'I do not believe he's going to the penitentiary. I believe he's coming to God.'"

"Well," she said, "I'll try it."

"It won't work if you try it, but it will work if you'll do it. Jesus didn't say we would have whatever we tried. He said we'd have whatever we said."

Over a year later I returned to that city to speak at another Full Gospel Business Men's Fellowship convention. After an afternoon service, a woman came up to me and said, "Brother Hagin, do you remember me?"

"No, I meet so many people I don't really remember you."

"You were here a year ago," she said. "I asked you to pray for my boy, and you shocked me by saying you wouldn't."

The woman continued, "What you told me worked! At first my son got worse. And keeping my mouth shut was the hardest thing I ever did. But I kept saying day and night, 'I surround him with faith and love. I believe he's coming to God. I believe things are going to work out right in his life. I believe he's not going to the reform school or the penitentiary.'

"We went along that way for almost a year," she continued. "Then one Sunday morning, after he'd been out nearly all night, he got up and came to the breakfast table. And while we were eating, he said, 'Momma, I believe I'll go to Sunday school with you this morning.'

"I said, 'Now son, you were up awfully late; you probably need the rest.'

" 'No,' he said. 'I want to go.'

"He went to Sunday school and stayed for church.

"The next Sunday," the mother told me, "he was out till 4 o'clock in the morning, but again, he was up for breakfast."

"Momma," he said, "I believe I'll go to Sunday school with you this morning."
"Son, you were out late last night. You need the rest."

"Well, yes," he said, "but I can go."

Her son went to Sunday school, stayed for church, and that evening went back to church. When the invitation was given at the end of the service, he went to the altar and was saved.

"He's been filled with the Spirit and is on fire for God," she said. "He's just a brand-new boy!

"At first I almost got my feelings hurt," she continued. "You were so blunt with me. But I corrected myself. Now he's got a brand-new momma too.

"I don't think like I used to," she said. "I almost pinch myself sometimes and say, 'Is that really me?' I used to worry, worry, worry. But I don't anymore."

Jesus said, "[You] shall have whatsoever [you] saith" (Mark 11:23). When this woman began saying the right things, her son's life was turned around.
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[Editor's Note: This article was adapted from the book Ministering to Your Family by Kenneth E. Hagin and Kenneth W. Hagin.]

 


Family Ties 

//Kenneth W. Hagin

The Bible has a lot to say about the family. Personally, I believe the Bible teaches that, other than our relationship with the Lord, our family should come before anything else in life.

Caring for a family involves more than just providing food, shelter, and clothing. It also means giving family members love, discipline, and time.

If our family suffers because of our job or other commitments, we've got a problem. At times we have to be away from home. But at other times our family must come first.

It's vital that we build a relationship with our children. It can take effort to be involved in their lives after we've had a long day at work. But despite the demands and time pressures we face, we must make that effort to be there for them.

To have a close relationship with our children when they're older, we must spend time with them when they're young. Quality time, love, and attention are more important than anything else we can give them.


Yours, Mine, and Ours

Tips for Blended Families

//Craig Hagin

Blended families are becoming common. But joining two families together can be complex. When blended families fail, it's usually not because the spouses don't love each other. It's because the two families aren't blending well. Here are some things to be aware of.

  1. If a previous marriage ended in divorce, take time to figure out why it failed. Most people enter a second marriage clueless about what went wrong the first time. Unresolved issues usually flair up in the new marriage.
  2. Realize that blending two families together while kids are going through puberty can be more emotional.
  3. As much as possible, try to maintain cordial communications with ex-spouses. Children should not be messengers for parents.
  4. Don't have an "us versus them" mentality. It's not his kids or her kids. It's our children.
  5. Remember, love conquers all.