What To Do When Conflict Arises
Connections says: We asked several RHEMA pastors for keys to resolving conflicts with their volunteers and staff. Here’s what they had to say:
Mike Webb (’81, ’82)
Foothill Family Church, Lake Forest, CA
www.foothillfamily.com
“My ‘most important key’ to resolving conflicts was give an to me by John Osteen. When a conflict arose, his secretary would help him by filtering out the emotion from each situation and presenting only the facts to him. He said that once you remove the emotions, most situations are easily resolved.
“Therefore, my first move in every difficult and/or conflict situation is to filter out the emotions so I can address what is really happening. Brother Osteen was right. With the emotions removed, everyone involved can clearly see the best course of action.”
Connections says—
Most conflicts don’t have to be handled right away (even though some people may think you need to respond immediately). Unless the situation is a true emergency, you can usually let it sit for a day or so (maybe longer, depending on the situation), and then get back with the people involved. That way, the emotions will have time to settle down, and you can get the mind of the Lord to handle the situation objectively.
Sam Smucker (’77)
The Worship Center, Lancaster, PA
www.worshipcenter.org
“Something that has helped us to have a good working environment is continual training in all areas. In our staff meetings, we talk a lot about serving our congregation and making it easy for volunteers to serve. I do book studies with the staff about attitude, how to relate to one another, how to resolve conflict, and so on. These books include Nine Things a Leader Must Do by Henry Cloud, books by John Maxwell including The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, and Rick Warren’s Purpose-Driven Church. I have found most of our staff and volunteer confl icts are related to a lack of training, or staff members and volunteers not knowing clearly what is expected of them.
“Regular checkups are important too. You need to allow staff members and volunteers opportunities to share any frustrations they may have. They also need a time when their team leader can share areas they are satisfied with and areas where improvement is needed.”
John White (’82, ’83)
Decatur Christian Fellowship, Decatur, AL
www.dcfchurchusa.org
“I believe the proper way to resolve conflict, insubordination, strife, or any other related problems is: Communicate, Confront, and if necessary, Cast Out. “
Communication is a vital key to resolving any problem. Often, the problem was initiated by a lack of communication in the first place. Make sure you spell out everything, written and verbal. During regular staff and volunteer meetings, document everything and keep the minutes to refer back to. “
Confront the source of any dispute. There are times when people come to me and say, ‘So-and-so said this or that.’ If it seems to be a serious problem, I confront the person. First Corinthians says there were arguments in the church, and when Paul confronted the issues, he said it was Chloe’s family that told him (1 Cor. 1:11). Paul wasn’t afraid to name the source of his information.
“Some minor conflicts take care of themselves and need no attention. And sometimes, confrontation might make matters worse. But as a norm, I confront anything that I feel could hurt the church or affect the anointing. I feel that good, Bible-based teaching will resolve most problems. “
Cast out. This should only be done as a last resort, when you’ve dealt with a person in love over a period of time and can’t resolve things. James 3:16 says that where there is envy and strife, there is confusion and every evil work. Second Timothy 2:24–26 says that when we are in strife, we are taken captive by Satan at his will. Proverbs 22:10 says when you cast out the scorner, then strife and reproach will cease. If strife continues, then action should be taken and the person removed from their position.”
