By Rev. Lynette Hagin
It seems that with our busy schedules in this day and age, the home and family have become grossly neglected. We are often so busy providing for our children and giving them life opportunities that we fail to realize that the greatest gift we can provide for them as parents is to truly love each other and to express that love for one another.
You may not have been raised in a loving home. Therefore, you did not have an example of how a husband should treat his wife and of how a wife should treat her husband. I encourage you to read out loud daily the passage from the “love chapter,” First Corinthians 13:4–8, in The Amplified Bible. And then practice what love is all about.
Love is more than words. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Talk is cheap.” Words of love must be reinforced with actions. Love is something you do! So many times, people judge their love for someone by their emotional feelings. Often, couples think they have fallen out of love because the romantic feelings have waned. We should certainly have romantic feelings for our spouse, but real love—agape, or the God–kind of love—relies not upon feeling, but upon action!
Love accepts many imperfections. Love does not demand perfection from one’s mate. Oftentimes, people go into marriage thinking, I don’t like such–and–such about my spouse, but I will change it after we are married. But if you can’t accept that person as is, don’t marry him or her! And if you are married, quit trying to change your spouse. Love your mate for who he or she is.
My husband and I celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary in December 2005, and our love for each other has increased over the years instead of waning. That is the way it should be. You should be more in love with your spouse now than when you were first married. Unfortunately, many times, that does not seem to be the way that it is. Many couples in their later years live in the same house but are strangers.
That is not the way God intended marriage to be. Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” It should be noted that man had direct communion with God, and yet God said that was not enough. So if you as a wife have ever questioned your value, you should realize what great value God places upon you!
The Lord further commanded that as husband and wife we should cleave to each other and become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 states, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” So often, a husband and wife live separate lives. But that is not how God intended it. We need each other, and we should be a vital part of our spouse’s life.
In the child–rearing years, it is easy to lose the togetherness you experienced before you had children. But quicker than you realize, the children grow up and leave home, and you could find yourself sitting at home with your mate and suddenly realizing that you are strangers because your life has revolved around your children for so many years.
If you are in the busy years of child–rearing, I want to encourage you as husband and wife to take some alone time with each other. It’s important to keep that marriage foundation strong. You might think you can’t afford to take the time—you can’t afford not to take the time! It is your guarantee for the future; it will keep your marriage strong.
For those who have found themselves in the predicament of living separate lives, I encourage you to renew your love for each other. Do the things you used to do to show your love for each other and to spark the passion in your relationship. Reignite the fire in your marriage, and you will find yourselves falling in love all over again!
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Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin offers comfort and help from the Word of God concerning issues related to marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
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