// Tony Cooke
Whenever we lose a loved one, we are forced to make many adjustments. While some adjustments are practical and external, others are emotional and internal. Some may seem trivial—others monumental. Any and every adjustment can be difficult to make, simply because change itself is difficult.
Human beings are creatures of habit. We prefer to live in our comfort zone. We arrange our life until we're comfortable; then we want everything to stay put.
We must realize that everything pertaining to this earthly realm is subject to change whether we like it or not. None of our relationships are permanent because some of us will leave this earth sooner than others.
Some transitions are easier to handle than others. When a loved one dies, there is usually so much more involved than just the person no longer being with us. The added issues can make the transition very difficult.
How much did we depend upon that person? What role did he or she play in our life? Perhaps we found a great sense of self-worth in caring for that person. Will we find a sense of worth and purpose elsewhere, or will we feel as though we no longer have value?
Perhaps our goals and dreams were wrapped up in our loved one—and now that person is gone! Will our hopes and aspirations also die, or will we be able to discover new purpose and direction in life?
Loneliness is commonly encountered when a loved one dies, and these feelings can be intense. Don't be alarmed if you have strong feelings of loneliness. Just as God gave you the gift of being able to give love to and receive love from that person, He will also give you strength and resiliency to move forward.
A Look at King David's Recovery
King David experienced numerous losses throughout his life. One of them involved the death of his child. The story is recorded in Second Samuel 12:16–23. Let us recognize what his example might mean for us when we experience the loss of a loved one.
David prayed, fasted, wept, and sought God in the situation (vv. 16–18).
David did everything he could to try to turn the situation around for his son. In the final analysis, however, he did not receive the outcome he wanted.
David forced himself to accept news he did not want to hear. He arose from the ground, washed, and anointed himself (vv. 19–20). Sometimes in life we get knocked down. But we are the ones who decide if we are going to stay down. Washing has to do with getting rid of yesterday's grime and receiving a fresh start today. It has to do with embracing a new beginning. In Bible days, oil was a lotion that brought comfort, refreshing, and relief to a person.
David changed his clothes (v. 20).
In Bible times, clothes spoke volumes about the wearer and what he was experiencing. A king's robe, a beggar's rags, and a mourner's sackcloth all told a story about the ones who wore them.
David went to the house of the Lord and worshiped (v. 20).
In spite of the pain David experienced, he turned to God and honored Him in worship.
David went back to his home and ate (v. 20).
Life was going to continue. David went back to his normal surroundings and returned to his regular
He will also give you strength and resiliency to move forward.
After the death of a loved one, adjusting to a new reality will be different for each person. For most people, recovery from significant loss is a lengthy process. Be assured that God is with you every step of the way.
Missing someone you love is a tribute to that person and his or her influence in your life. Moving forward, making the necessary adjustments, and finding new purpose for yourself is a tribute to God and His influence in your life.