Transformed by His Love
For Sarah Van Dreese, 2006 RHEMA Bible Training Center graduate, there’s no greater joy than helping others. She has traveled around the world—to places like Peru, Australia, Greece, Nepal, Indonesia, and Asia—sowing into the lives of people and helping them see themselves as God sees them. Looking at her beautiful smile and peaceful demeanor, you’d never know of the deep turmoil she once experienced or how the enemy tried to destroy her life.
Born again at a neighborhood vacation Bible school outreach at the age of 5, Sarah remembered praying to receive Jesus and skipping happily home. “It was a genuine encounter with the Lord,” she recalled, “but there were a lot of things going on during that time of my life—abuse situations.”
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RESOURCES |
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If you or someone you know is struggling with cutting or other types of self-harm, visit www.mercyministries.org. This biblically based program offers numerous resources and experienced staff to help set you on the path to a bright future. |
Abused repeatedly by babysitters, Sarah began to believe the lies of the enemy. “I believed the abuse was my fault and that I was a bad person,” she said. “That abuse from the babysitters scarred places in my heart.”
As she grew, the scars became more firmly embedded. In the 11th grade—depressed, suicidal, and suffering from eating disorders—Sarah had her first psychiatric hospital admission. Also around that time she began cutting* herself.
“When I started cutting,” Sarah soberly remembered, “I believed I was such a bad person that I was marked for evil. I believed the abuse was my fault, and it was so ingrained in me that I thought, ‘If nobody else is going to punish me, I need to punish myself.’”
For Sarah, cutting became an addiction that would last five and a half years. It was an addiction she turned to whenever emotions overwhelmed
her. In and out of hospitals, misdiagnosed, and overly medicated, she even cut herself just to make sure she was still alive.
In 1996, Sarah stopped cutting and rededicated her life to the Lord. But years later, the physical scars remained. “When I first began cutting, I
was careful about where I did it so it could remain hidden,” Sarah explained. “As time went on, I just didn’t care anymore and I would carve
words and symbols onto myself.”
Those scars became a reminder of a past Sarah wanted to forget. “I said to the Lord, ‘Father, I don’t understand why those scars are still there, but one thing I ask is that You use them to Your glory.’” Sarah consecrated her scars to the Lord, and at that moment, she heard that still, small voice on the inside say, “Look at your legs.”
“When I did,” Sarah added, “three of the words I had carved into them were completely gone—no hint of them at all! The three words the Lord healed were sin, shame, and death.
“Not only did He heal my physical body, but the words He removed were a proclamation of what He did for me—for all of us—on the Cross. He took away sin, He took away shame, and He took away all fear of death.”
Sarah is no longer embarrassed about her remaining scars. Instead, she’s using them as a platform to proclaim the Gospel wherever she goes. In one country, she had the opportunity to speak to a young orphan girl who had repeatedly tried to take her own life. To those who tried to help her, the girl would always say, “You don’t understand.” After speaking with Sarah, though, this young girl told the orphanage director that for the first time she could see the change God had made in a person’s life. And it gave her hope.
“It seems so simple,” Sarah said. “But it’s the love of God that transformed my life. I am able to trust Him, because I know He loves me. And it’s because He first loved me that I am able to love Him and truly love and help other people. There’s no better way to live than to live loved.”
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*Cutting is a type of self-injury—an unhealthy means to cope with emotional pain, intense anger, or frustration.